Rebel to Redeemed: I’m Not Perfect, but thankful to be Redeemed

Over the last few months I’ve shared my story of going from Rebel to Redeemed.  Today we finish up that series. I’ve shared my struggles, my heartache and pains, as well as my breakthroughs, triumphs and joys. I’m far from perfect and God knows this.  However, He loves me just the way I am.  He loved me when I was […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Never Stop Praying

Never stop praying!  That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned through all of life’s twist and turns. When I returned home after a three year absence, family and friends all told me that they never stopped praying for me.  I know those prayers made on a difference on some of those dark, lonely nights.  I know those prayers saved me from […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Walking in Faith

Once again my life had been uprooted and I didn’t understand why.  I felt that I’d taken a huge step back in time. Yet, God kept telling me to trust Him.  Although that’s the way it felt, He sees the bigger picture and He assured me that wasn’t the case. I had nowhere to turn, but to Him.  My faith […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: His Ways Are Not Our Ways

Life wasn’t perfect, but it was good and I was evolving into the person I knew God wanted me to be. I continued to struggle with some situations at work, but God had given me a peace and acceptance about the circumstances.  Then I discovered that everything was about to change again at work.  I was bracing myself for more […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Seeking God’s Will

My bed of roses had turned into a field of hay.  I may have been in God’s will but life wasn’t as rosy as I wanted to dream it was. The devil was fighting me at every turn and I struggled. I began to earnestly seek God’s will.  I prayed hard for those at work that were giving me a […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: The Healing Continues

After six years of pulling back the layers, one would think there wasn’t anything else to work on.   However, human beings are complex individuals with many layers.   I still have much work to be accomplished. During this time I made a remarkable improvement and change in three areas of my life.   I’m far from perfect in these areas and […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Spiritual Warfare

I discovered that being in God’s will is not easy.   God may want you there, you may want to be there, but the devil DOESN’T want you there. The devil knew my weaknesses and faults and used them to do his best to trip me up.   He bombarded me with flashbacks and nightmares of those days with Duncan.   I’d not […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: In God’s Will

Finally, after six years I began to feel that I was in God’s will again.   I don’t know why He kept me waiting that long, but He does.  He has not revealed to me yet, what He was preparing me for. My life finally began to move forward and I started in a career that I loved.  I was working […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Waiting on God’s Timing

I recently read a story of a prodigal who also struggled for twenty years.  She remarked that she gave her life to Christ and the next morning she was a new person.  So many of the issues she’d struggled with were completely taken away. I don’t know why God acts differently with different people.  In many ways I wish I […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Discovering Who I Am

For the first time in years, I began to discover that my hopes and dreams were still there and they were still the same that they had been for years. I read a lot of books on a variety of “self-help” topics, worked with my counselors and took online courses.  Working through the exercises through these various resources I began […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Finding Forgiveness

I realized part of the healing process was finding forgiveness.  This was far from easy.  My emotions ranged from loving Duncan* to hating him. I realized that I had to allow myself to feel regardless of the emotion, to acknowledge that emotion and go with it.  I kept a notebook and began to journal my feelings.  For that first year […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Finding Healing

I tried to handle things myself after the end of my marriage to Sean* and realized this was not a wise decision.  Instead of dealing with what I felt, I suppressed it and became angry and difficult. After the intensity of the situation with Duncan*, I knew I could not handle the situation on my own.  I sought out counseling […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Discovering Where I Fit In

I was home, but I had no idea where I fit in.  I felt like an outsider.  I felt as if I were an interloper on someone else’s life. The first two months back, I wanted to do nothing.  I was still numb and in shock.  I was still struggling to internally process everything that had taken place.  I much […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: The Prodigal Returns

I was taken to a safe place and able to make contact with Mama.  I’ve often wondered what I would have done if we’d not reconnected two months earlier.  Looking back, I see that even in the wait God was working. I returned home to South Carolina and my family I’d not seen in over three years.   I was broken, […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: The End of Hell

After three years in an abusive relationship, I had no doubt I was living in hell.  There were times when arguing with Duncan his eyes grew so black, that I wondered if it was Duncan or the devil I was dealing with. The weeks leading up to Christmas became a nightmare.  Our relationship became non-existent and we were not even […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Mending Broken Relationship

By October, the relationship with Duncan had deteriorated and once again I attempted to leave. I’d not talked with Mama in over three years.  I would call my aunt or grandmother about once a year to let them know I was still alive.  Otherwise, I’d not had any communication with any other family. I’d told Duncan I was not coming […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: It Takes Time

I’d finally surrendered to God, asked His forgiveness and for Him to come into my heart and life. I wish I could tell you that “POOF” everything changed, but it didn’t. The return trip home from Scotland was pure hell. Over the following months things slowly began to grow WORSE. I began to stand up for myself, which did not […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Finally Redeemed

By summer 2008 life had become very difficult.  Nothing I did was right for Duncan and Mary.  I’d been through numerous jobs and I had no friends. I was living on an emotional roller coaster and I wasn’t sure how much more I could endure. In August, we went to Scotland for several weeks to supposedly visit with Duncan’s “family”.  […]

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Rebel to Redeemed: Nowhere to Turn

The abuse only escalated and with it my self-esteem and self-confidence were slowly eroded. In time I lost everything I had.  I was all alone and had no one to turn, other than to Duncan* and his sister, Mary*. I had one or two co-workers that tried to warn me in the beginning, but at that time I didn’t want […]

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