Rebel to Redeemed: The Healing Continues
After six years of pulling back the layers, one would think there wasn’t anything else to work on.
However, human beings are complex individuals with many layers. I still have much work to be accomplished.
During this time I made a remarkable improvement and change in three areas of my life. I’m far from perfect in these areas and still have a lot of work to do, but I also can appreciate how God was working through all of this.
- Depression—I’ve struggled with this issue most of my life. This is hereditary in my family and I’ve chosen to overcome it with God’s help and not medicine, as long as possible. One day we were doing a Bible Study on the Fruits of the Spirit at church. I prayed, “God, help me to have the joy only YOU can provide. Give it to me in the depths of my soul.” I noticed a remarkable change after this. I still have times when life gets hard and I continue to struggle with depression, but I’m seeing that joy more and more. I’m noticing that the negative self-talk is not as strong, I recognize it more and I counter it with God’s word and positive reinforcement.
- Weight Loss—I’ve struggled with this for twenty years, since depression medicine added on the pounds. Asked to sing, I picked a song in which I Chose to give it all to God. I noticed desires for sweets disappeared for a time and came back diminished. I began to recognize when I was full and not over eat as much and I began to become more dedicated in my exercise regimen. So far I’ve lost 45 pounds, and continue to strive to reach a healthy weight and lifestyle.
- Finances—returning with nothing, I wanted “stuff” and I overspent. Through bouts of cut hours and unemployment, I had to learn how to reign all of this in. As other layers fell away, I began to notice I did not yearn for things the way I once did. I didn’t want them and I was taking a more proactive role with my finances. I also discovered how my hoarding had gotten out of hand and began to discern what was really important and what I really needed compared to what was just a want or fantasy. I will admit, I still LOVE books!
Slowly, God began to provide healing in these areas and others. I had one co-worker tell me, “You’re not the same person you were when you began to work here months ago. You’ve come alive, like a butterfly coming out of a cocoon.”
That felt good, but I knew it wasn’t me. It was all what God had done in me. I just had to seek His will for my life and the circumstances that surrounded me.