Moving from Victim to Survivor

During the process of healing, I realized that I had to move my thought process from victim to survivor. Dictionary.com describes a victim as “a person harmed, injured or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action…a person who is tricked or duped.” That is definitely true when you have been involved in a variety […]

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Knowing When to Walk Away

Have you ever had to walk away from someone you love? There are times when we have to make tough decisions. When someone we love brings physical harm or tremendous emotional pain into our lives, there are times when we have no choice but to walk away from them. This is never an easy decision to make. Only with the […]

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Abuse Can Make You Crazy

Did you know that abuse can make you crazy? A quick Google search, shows a variety of articles proving that emotional abuse can in fact lead a person to erratic behavior. This was true for me and I felt as if I were going crazy. My abuser made it all out to be my fault and even tried to make […]

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When We Should Keep Secrets

I grew up where we speak only truth.  If we told a lie, we were reprimanded and told how important it was to tell the truth.  This is still a life lesson I strive to live by. However, when I was in the abusive relationship, I was often accused of lying, even when I wasn’t. There were times when I […]

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When you are cut off from all you know

While I was in my abusive relationship, I was cut off from my family and friends. This happened so slowly, that I did not even realize what was happening at first. So, how is a person cut off from family and friends? Refusing to allow any contact Cutting off phone contact Cutting off letters {either through snail mail or e-mail} […]

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3 Strategies To Move On From Abuser

Last week, I shared 9 strategies when you want to return to the chaos.   But, in addition to longing for the old, unhealthy patterns you may discover that you can’t stop thinking about the man you left behind. After all, you were together for years, you loved him, you may have children together, you have a past, and love does […]

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20 Ways to Protect Yourself

I shared last week, about developing a plan to leave a bad situation or relationship, but there are steps that need to be take in which to protect oneself. Some of the things I learned and discovered during this times, which I hope will help anyone in need include: Set up a post office box for mail Do not provide […]

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Preparing to Leave

The time finally arrived when I said enough is enough and I began to prepare a plan to leave. I’ll admit this was a difficult decision and I second and third guessed myself time and time again.  I often wondered if I was doing the right thing and would be able to follow through.  Yet, the situation was so bad […]

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Why does this hurt so much?

I shared last week, reasons why I stayed until I had no choice but to be honest with myself and leave. However, there was another question I had to ask myself. Why does this hurt so much? The simple answer was because I loved him, but he did not love me. There were times when I could see the enjoyment […]

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Why are you staying?

When I was in my abusive relationship, I often had people ask why are you staying? At first, the answer was “because he loves me”.  But his actions did not show he loved me. Then it was, “because I love him”, but I was miserable in this relationship and everyone could see it in my eyes. Next came, “because I […]

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Domestic Violence Series: Special Edition–Resources for You

In closing this series, I want to provide some resources for you!   National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) www.dvasc.org   Domestic Violence Assistance www.ndvh.org   National Domestic Violence Website www.health-first.org   List signs of abusive relationship http://www.thehotline.org/ www.bwjp.org   Battered Women’s Justice Project www.endabuse.org   National Health Center on Domestic Violence www.ncjfcj.org/dept/fvd   Resource Center on Domestic Violence, Child Protection and Custody   In South […]

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Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series–3 Safety Precautions in leaving Domestic Violence Situation

Leaving an abusive situation is dangerous.  Often the abusive partner becomes enraged and the abuse is even more dangerous and at an all-time high. When leaving, take every precaution necessary. This includes: Leave when the abusive partner is not at home—if possible Set up a signal with a trusted neighbor or friend If spouse will be home—contact the police and […]

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