Why are you staying?

When I was in my abusive relationship, I often had people ask why are you staying?

At first, the answer was “because he loves me”.  But his actions did not show he loved me.

Abuse is not love, no matter how much we try to deceive ourselves

Then it was, “because I love him”, but I was miserable in this relationship and everyone could see it in my eyes.

Next came, “because I don’t know where to go”, but I could have gone home.  I was scared of what they would think, how to leave and living without this man.

Later, it became “because I don’t have the money”.  This was a genuine concern, but on more than one occasion I had friends offer me refuge while I got back on my feet.  However, their conditions were absolutely no contact with my abuser.

Does your life feel like a rollercoaster?

Finally, it became, “I don’t know.  Why am I staying?”  This was the hardest answer because it meant being honest with myself and deep introspection and soul searching.

Proverbs 21:9 says, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

When your emotions are in constant turmoil and you feel as if your life is a never ending roller coaster, then it is time to start asking some serious questions and digging deep.  This is neither easy or fun, but essential if we hope for a change.

If you are in an abusive relationship, why are you staying?

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