9 Strategies When You Want to Return to the Chaos

If you’ve recently left a difficult situation or relationship, do you find yourself longing to return to the chaos?

abuse can lead to chaos…even in our brains

I know, that sounds like a silly question.

However, the situation had become so engrained in me and I had been so brain washed by the controlling of my abuser that I discovered it was much easier said than done to walk away.

This is very common in abusive situations.  I’ve seen it in others and thought they were crazy, until remembering I’d been there myself.

I even said to myself, he doesn’t love you and treated you like dirt, so why do you want to go back.

Sometimes we need to rewire our brains and disspell the chaos

I didn’t really want to go back, but it was so much easier to walk away in theory then it was in reality.

So, how did I let go and move on?

Again, that was easier said than done and for me it took years to break free from all of the damage that had been done.   Hopefully for you it won’t take that long, but I pray you’ve not suffered to the extent and intensity I have.


So, how did I break this desire:

  1. I kept reminding myself of why I left

    finding a new hobby helps us to get our mind off our troubles

  2. I practiced gratefulness and looked for the good in the situation
  3. Extensive counseling
  4. Attending support groups
  5. Meeting new people and making friends
  6. Discovering a new hobby or interest
  7. Get involved with church
  8. A lot of work to change that negative wiring in your brain for a positive change—only you can do this and it is so much easier said than done.
  9. Journaling or a creative outlet


God wants the best for us and he has brought us out of the chaos.  Philippians 3:13 says, “forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.”

The Lord hears our prayers

God wants us to focus on what is ahead for us and not on what we’ve left behind.  Let’s use that experience from our past as a lesson, so we do not fall into the trap or web again.

How do you keep moving forward and leave behind the chaos of the past?

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