Rebel to Redeemed…Sharing HIS Kind of Love
Last week, I wrote of my fear to return home. But there are times when our circumstances does not allow us to return home. Whether that is because our parents are dead or due to a falling out or due to safety issues or a variety of other issues, sometimes it isn’t possible. So, what do we do when we […]
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After years of enduring domestic violence, I was afraid of returning home. I was returning home a loser. I had made a mistake and not listened when other told me to walk away. I felt as if I’d let everyone down. Most of all I let myself down. When I returned home I was met with more unconditional love and […]
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The more abuse I endured, the more my self dignity was chipped away. Looking in the mirror one day I did not recognize who I’d become. I had no self respect, no self love and no self dignity. I had become a shell of a person. I had lost myself in the with every insult, degradation and criticism. Domestic violence […]
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I recently heard in a sermon that when we hold on to something to tightly than we begin to smoother it, that thing begins to loosen itself and slowly slip away. There are many things in life {our goals, dreams, past, anger, finances, etc.} that this can relate to. However, I realized this is so true when it comes to […]
Read more When I was being abused I was constantly told that I weak. When my husband found me reading my Bible or praying he would say, “you can’t do that. God doesn’t want to hear from you until you are well.” “And what does it take to become well?” I often asked. “You know.” He would turn around and walk off […]
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In my abusive situation, I began to see the truth behind his lies and actions. As I turned my situation over to the Lord, I grew strong and began to stand up for myself. I could not condone the lies I’d been fed for so long or the evil in my life. I was tired of living on a roller […]
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Letting go is not easy. Even after a bad situation, when we want to let go, it is often easy to hold on to the past. After all, this is what is familiar. This is the life we know. This is where we are comfortable. Moving on and moving away can be scary. We are entering the unknown, even if […]
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During the process of healing, I realized that I had to move my thought process from victim to survivor. Dictionary.com describes a victim as “a person harmed, injured or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action…a person who is tricked or duped.” That is definitely true when you have been involved in a variety […]
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Have you ever had to walk away from someone you love? There are times when we have to make tough decisions. When someone we love brings physical harm or tremendous emotional pain into our lives, there are times when we have no choice but to walk away from them. This is never an easy decision to make. Only with the […]
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Did you know that abuse can make you crazy? A quick Google search, shows a variety of articles proving that emotional abuse can in fact lead a person to erratic behavior. This was true for me and I felt as if I were going crazy. My abuser made it all out to be my fault and even tried to make […]
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I grew up where we speak only truth. If we told a lie, we were reprimanded and told how important it was to tell the truth. This is still a life lesson I strive to live by. However, when I was in the abusive relationship, I was often accused of lying, even when I wasn’t. There were times when I […]
Read more While I was in my abusive relationship, I was cut off from my family and friends. This happened so slowly, that I did not even realize what was happening at first. So, how is a person cut off from family and friends? Refusing to allow any contact Cutting off phone contact Cutting off letters {either through snail mail or e-mail} […]
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Last week, I shared 9 strategies when you want to return to the chaos. But, in addition to longing for the old, unhealthy patterns you may discover that you can’t stop thinking about the man you left behind. After all, you were together for years, you loved him, you may have children together, you have a past, and love does […]
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If you’ve recently left a difficult situation or relationship, do you find yourself longing to return to the chaos? I know, that sounds like a silly question. However, the situation had become so engrained in me and I had been so brain washed by the controlling of my abuser that I discovered it was much easier said than done to […]
Read more I shared last week, about developing a plan to leave a bad situation or relationship, but there are steps that need to be take in which to protect oneself. Some of the things I learned and discovered during this times, which I hope will help anyone in need include: Set up a post office box for mail Do not provide […]
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The time finally arrived when I said enough is enough and I began to prepare a plan to leave. I’ll admit this was a difficult decision and I second and third guessed myself time and time again. I often wondered if I was doing the right thing and would be able to follow through. Yet, the situation was so bad […]
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I shared last week, reasons why I stayed until I had no choice but to be honest with myself and leave. However, there was another question I had to ask myself. Why does this hurt so much? The simple answer was because I loved him, but he did not love me. There were times when I could see the enjoyment […]
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When I was in my abusive relationship, I often had people ask why are you staying? At first, the answer was “because he loves me”. But his actions did not show he loved me. Then it was, “because I love him”, but I was miserable in this relationship and everyone could see it in my eyes. Next came, “because I […]
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In closing this series, I want to provide some resources for you! National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) www.dvasc.org Domestic Violence Assistance www.ndvh.org National Domestic Violence Website www.health-first.org List signs of abusive relationship http://www.thehotline.org/ www.bwjp.org Battered Women’s Justice Project www.endabuse.org National Health Center on Domestic Violence www.ncjfcj.org/dept/fvd Resource Center on Domestic Violence, Child Protection and Custody In South […]
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If you’ve survived a domestic violence situation, I congratulate you! Living through one and moving on is not easy! However, it can be done! Moving on takes time. Move at a pace you’re comfortable with. Surround yourself with friends and family you know you can trust. Allow yourself the chance to grieve and mourn the loss of your […]
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