When We Can’t Return Home
Last week, I wrote of my fear to return home. But there are times when our circumstances does not allow us to return home. Whether that is because our parents are dead or due to…
Afraid to Return Home
After years of enduring domestic violence, I was afraid of returning home. I was returning home a loser. I had made a mistake and not listened when other told me to walk away. I felt…
Afraid to Dream
I was so beaten down my the abuse that I was afraid to dream. Afraid to hope. After all, I was told constantly that God did not love me. My abuser wanted to do…
Losing our self dignity
The more abuse I endured, the more my self dignity was chipped away. Looking in the mirror one day I did not recognize who I’d become. I had no self respect, no self love and…
Blinded to the Truth
I recently heard Dr. Charles Stanley say “Satan always blinds you and says you will be fine without showing you the consequences.” I thought about how this related to an abusive relationship. The abuse began…
We Can Be Too Honest
My ex and his family, constantly harped on being honest and truthful. Yet, no matter how honest and truthful I was at times, it never seemed to be good enough. They still wanted and demanded…
Why I Asked God for Help Out of My Abusive Situation
One of the reasons I stayed in a domestic violence relationship for so long was because of my religious beliefs. I really struggled with leaving a marriage and obtaining a divorce due to my beliefs. …
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series— 3 Places to Find Safety from Domestic Violence
Last week we discussed why women returned to an abusive situation. One important factor of leaving an abuser, is having a safe place to turn. Some places to turn are: Family members—is there a family…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series— 9 Reasons A Woman Returns to An Abusive Situation
I lost count over the years of how many times I left my husband. I know there were two serious attempts, in which I actively sought refuge elsewhere. There were numerous accounts of when I…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series–10 Ways Domestic Violence Affects the Workplace
Often a person believes that no one knows they are a victim of domestic abuse. I felt that way. I believed that it was our secret and didn’t move outside of the home. I was…
Barriers to Leaving An Abusive Relationship
We’ve discussed why women stay, but what are some of the barriers the abuser may put in place to prevent the victim from leaving? I can tell you that the average woman leaves seven times…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series—Life Threatening Signs in an Abusive Relationship
Abusive relationships usually escalate from single incidents to multiple incidents more often. Often a woman will think she is safe, but when she stands up for herself or tries to leave, she may discover…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series –Protective Strategies Victims Use
Last week we discussed coping mechanisms victims used in an abusive relationship. Along those same lines, victims often find ways to protect themselves or their children from an outburst of violence. Some of these are:…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series –Coping Mechanisms
During my abusive relationship, I withdrew into myself for a long time. Although others tried to warn me of what was happening, I refused to see or acknowledge the hell I was living in. Some…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series—What to do if you get angry?
Duncan* often knew how to push my buttons and which buttons to push in order to anger me. Often an abuser wants to insight anger to bring on another cycle of…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series—Why do women stay?
One of the questions I was often asked when I left Duncan* was, why did you stay? Finding the words to explain this is difficult. A person that has never been…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series—Causes of Abuse
Often abusive behavior is learned. Perhaps the abuser grew up in a home and saw his mother being abused. He copied his father and may have even been abused. If the abuser is a woman,…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series—Myths about Abuse
Often people have misconceptions about domestic violence. Sometimes they think that women enjoy being beat, the woman is crazy or that those without money or education are the most battered. All of these are very…
Wellness Tuesday—Domestic Violence and Weight Loss Don’t Go Hand in Hand
After suffering from a back injury, I’d not endured enough pain. I met a man who I thought was Mr. Right. All too soon, I discovered how wrong I was and before I knew it…
Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series—The Face of an Abuser
Last week, we discussed signs of abuse on which to be on the lookout. However, what does an abuser look like? Unfortunately, s/he does not go around wearing a shirt that says “I’m abusive,” so…