We Can Be Too Honest

My ex and his family, constantly harped on being honest and truthful.

Yet, no matter how honest and truthful I was at times, it never seemed to be good enough. They still wanted and demanded more.

In hindsight, there were times when I was too honest.

Are you scratching your head? How can you be too honest? Isn’t honesty the best policy?

Yes, honesty is always the best policy. However, there are times when you also need to have the wisdom and common sense to protect yourself. Particularly when you are in an abusive relationship.

The abuser will use every little thing as ammunition against the person they are abusing.

We DON’T want to give them any additional ammunition.

In my case I was too honest about the following:

1. Plans to leave

2. A Secret Bank Account

3. E-Mail Accounts {for communicating with family}

4. Contact with my family {once it was renewed}

5. P.O. Box {for mail}

6. Creative pursuits {he destroyed}

7. Revealing what mattered most to me {he destroyed}

What other items can you add to this list?

For me, even sharing my hopes and dreams seemed to be another way for him to keep me down and controlled. I can’t tell you how many times he destroyed my writing and other creative pursuits.

It takes work and honesty to discover who you truly are

1 Peter 5:8 says, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

We can choose whether we will allow our abuser to devour us, or if we will stand strong and protect ourselves. Even though we cannot share everything with our abuser, we can share everything with our Abba Father. He sees and knows everything already, but wants us to share our fears and hopes with Him. He wants us to ask His help. He will help us.

Are you too honest with your abuser? Do you ask God for help?