Doing the Hard work

Now the hard work began, I had to learn to be honest.  Both with myself and with others.

Digging through the layers of pain is hard work

Digging through the layers of pain is hard work

I wanted healing to be instantaneous but it wasn’t.   Healing takes a lot of time and a lot of work.

There were numerous layers that had to be pulled back.

Often, I felt that I’d learned one lesson or worked through one layer and then it would pop back up.  I had to deal with it again.

Part of the hard work also meant recognizing triggers that would set me off.  Once I recognized the triggers, I then had even more work to accomplish.  I had to understand why this was such a trigger.  This often meant reliving and understanding memories and situations I’d have preferred to forget.

Instead, I had to embrace the memory and work through the reality of the situation.  I couldn’t bury my head in the cloud or live in what might have been’s.

Each step was painful and some took longer than others to get through and deal with.

However, these steps were essential to doing the hard work that would eventually lead me to healing.

Photos Courtesy of MorgueFile