Rebel to Redeemed: The Call to Serve

Following Daddy’s death, I was very angry.  I was especially angry at God.  I couldn’t understand why he would take my Daddy when he had so much going for him.

I really struggled with this, especially when I visited Papa {Daddy’s father}.  Papa was in his late 80s and suffering from dementia.   I didn’t

Sometimes we have to go through the desert before we reach the other side

Sometimes we have to go through the desert before we reach the other side

understand God’s reasoning in any of this. Even though I loved Papa and wished him no harm, why did God take my Daddy and leave Papa?  This was a question even Papa asked.  {Papa lived 6 years after Daddy.}

Then September 11, 2001 occurred and I struggled even more with God and why he would allow such a thing to happen.  I was working in the travel industry at the time, which was heavily hit.  The company where I worked closed the doors that spring.

In many ways this was a financial struggle, but in other ways this was a blessing as I continued to work my way through college.  I was able to concentrate on my studies and make friends with other students.  Al of these had been much more difficult when working a forty hour work week in addition to taking a full college course load.  In the summer of 2002, I went to work for a small church in the area.

I was able to really gain my confidence and explore my capabilities and work on my weaknesses in my musical abilities in a variety of ways.

How do you show God's love?

How do you show God’s love?

In tribute to Daddy, we performed the cantata he’d compiled and I named it, His Kind of Love.  I still have fond memories of this performance and am thankful the university allowed me to direct and produce this tribute to both my heavenly and earthly fathers.

Shortly after performing His Kind of Love, I had a man approach me and tell me “you need to go into the ministry.”  I was shocked and taken aback.  To me, being in the ministry at that time meant, being a preacher. It wasn’t until much later I discovered there are other kinds of ministry.

I’d seen the struggles Daddy had been through and how difficult circumstances had been on him at times.  There were times when it really took a toll on him and the rest of the family.  There was even a two year period in my early high school days, when he was so discouraged that he left the ministry.   God had to bring a healing to him before he’d even consider returning to a pastorate.

All of this was fresh in my mind and heart and I remembered the struggles we as a family had endured.  I had no desire to answer that calling.  Besides, I was no preacher.

However, within the next year, two more people approached me and said something very similar, “you are called to the ministry.”  Where was this coming from?  The first time I laughed, but the more I heard it, the more scared I became.

The last time was after hearing the song God’s Way {a take on Frank Sinatra’s My Way} at a summer camp where I worked.  What was God doing here?

However, I was nowhere near ready to accept this calling.  I ran as far from God as I possibly could.