Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series—When Women Abuse

men abusedOften we think of abusers are the men in the relationship.  While men are the dominate abuser, there are cases of men that are abused.

I’ve discussed my own abusive relationship, but what I’ve not shared is how it reached much farther than myself.  This was an abusive family.  Not only was my husband abusive, but so was his sister.  She was abusive to not only myself, but also to her husband.

Ann and Philip* had been together since Philip was 17 years old. {Ann is 15 years older than he is.}  Listening to the stories of all he’d endured was heartbreaking.  He finally took a job travelling to get away from the drama.  However, Philip was afraid to leave Ann for good and be alone.  He’d never known anything else and was scared of what or who else he might find.  Even when his parents offered to let him live with them, he was so scared that he refused.  Even though he was on the road, Ann continued the drama, verbal and financial abuse long distance and over the telephone.  She expected him to drop everything to take a phone call from her, regardless of his work commitments and restraints.  If he didn’t women who abuserespond to phone calls and emails in a timely manner, he was degraded, ridiculed, called names and berated.  Sometimes one indiscretion was thrown back in his face for weeks or months.  The drama that was invented as retribution is enough to beat any one down and lead to depression, lack of self esteem, anger and numerous other health issues.

So why do women abuse?

  • Former victims of abuse
  • Control


Ways Women Abuse?abused men 3

  • Possessive
  • Jealous
  • False accusations to others
  • Threaten to keep from seeing children
  • Refuse to talk
  • Storming out or make a scene in front of others


Why do men stay?abused men 4

  • Fear
  • Threats
  • Financial dependence
  • Desire to protect children
  • Shame—men who are abused have a difficult time admitting to others
  • Religious Beliefs
  • Denial
  • Mainly for the same reason women stay

abused men 2


If you are an abused man, contact The Domestic Abuse Helpline at 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754) .

What would you say to man that is being abused?


*Both names changed

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