When Life Doesn’t Matter

Life did not matter anymore.  After a suicide attempt, I shut down even more than I had already.

The situation got so bad that life didn’t matter any longer

I became a shell of a person.  In the mean time I went through the motions of my day to day routine, but there was no feeling or emotion.

When a spark of life did ignite, Duncan was quick to squelch that spark.

I heard numerous times: “no one will ever love you,” “you’ll be all alone,” “you’re nothing more than a fat cow,” “even God doesn’t care about you,” “I’ll have you killed if you ever leave me,” “you did {insert action} wrong,” “what are you, stupid?”, “no one will care if you die,” and other similar phrases.

I had no self-confidence.  Nothing else mattered and I was biding my time before I could end it all.

Photos Courtesy of MorgueFile