When We Can’t Return Home

Last week, I wrote of my fear to return home. But there are times when our circumstances does not allow us to return home. Whether that is because our parents are dead or due to a falling out or due to safety issues or a variety of other issues, sometimes it isn’t possible. So, what do we do when we […]

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Afraid to Return Home

After years of enduring domestic violence, I was afraid of returning home. I was returning home a loser. I had made a mistake and not listened when other told me to walk away. I felt as if I’d let everyone down. Most of all I let myself down. When I returned home I was met with more unconditional love and […]

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Afraid to Dream

I was so beaten down my the abuse that I was afraid to dream. Afraid to hope.   After all, I was told constantly that God did not love me. My abuser wanted to do all he could to keep me down and under his control. He wanted me to lose hope. With each ounce of hope that was lost, […]

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Losing our self dignity

The more abuse I endured, the more my self dignity was chipped away. Looking in the mirror one day I did not recognize who I’d become. I had no self respect, no self love and no self dignity. I had become a shell of a person. I had lost myself in the with every insult, degradation and criticism. Domestic violence […]

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Blinded to the Truth

I recently heard Dr. Charles Stanley say “Satan always blinds you and says you will be fine without showing you the consequences.” I thought about how this related to an abusive relationship. The abuse began so subtly. Oh, there were plenty of red flags but I choose to ignore them, even when the Lord tried to warn me. I refused […]

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We Can Be Too Honest

My ex and his family, constantly harped on being honest and truthful. Yet, no matter how honest and truthful I was at times, it never seemed to be good enough. They still wanted and demanded more. In hindsight, there were times when I was too honest. Are you scratching your head? How can you be too honest? Isn’t honesty the […]

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Barriers to Leaving An Abusive Relationship

We’ve discussed why women stay, but what are some of the barriers the abuser may put in place to prevent the victim from leaving? I can tell you that the average woman leaves seven times before she stays gone for good.  I lost track of the number of times I left. I know there were at least three serious attempts […]

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Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series –Protective Strategies Victims Use

Last week we discussed coping mechanisms victims used in an abusive relationship.  Along those same lines, victims often find ways to protect themselves or their children from an outburst of violence. Some of these are: Fighting back or defying the abuser Sending children to a family member or neighbor’s home Leaving a relationship Complying or placating the abuser Lying about […]

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Topic Monday: Domestic Violence Series –Coping Mechanisms

During my abusive relationship, I withdrew into myself for a long time.  Although others tried to warn me of what was happening, I refused to see or acknowledge the hell I was living in. Some coping mechanisms victims use are: Depression Emotional withdrawal Denial Anger Apprehension Helplessness Anxiety Fear Aggression Suicide Hyper vigilance Change in eating patterns {either eats too […]

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