Rebel to Redeemed:Losing it all

Immediately after moving to be with Duncan*, I discovered he was nothing like I thought or believed.  He was nothing like he portrayed himself to be.

On top of having to deal with him, I had to deal with his sister—who was often around more than he was.

I was lost without and all alone

I was lost without and all alone

I should have immediately left and returned home, but Mama was in the middle of moving and I had nowhere else to turn at the moment.  I wish I’d reached out and explained the situation, but I allowed pride to get in the way.

When things were good they were really good and I thought, “if only they are always like this”.  However, when things were bad they were really bad.

Duncan soon trashed my cell phone and began to monitor ALL of my email accounts, making sure I had NO contact with anyone.

He made sure that my check went into his checking account and I had no financial resources.  He promised to pay the few bills I had.

I was losing my mind, my head, my self esteem, and my confidence. How much more could I take?

I was losing my mind, my head, my self esteem, and my confidence. How much more could I take?

A short time later he ensured my car was repossessed.  My belongings were placed in storage, which he later made

sure was not paid.

Whenever I tried to discuss a situation, things were always turned around and it was my fault.  Instead of discussing issues, I received lectures {sometimes for hours} of everything I’d done wrong.

Things happened so slowly and methodically, that I did not realize what was happening and that I was in an abusive relationship for a number of months.   Once I recognized the abuse, I also understood the cycle.  Over the years that cycle would go from lasting a few months to a few hours.

I tried to leave a couple of times but with no money, I always returned.  Duncan then told me if I left he had enemies and “I would be killed.”  I heard this numerous times over the next few years.

I felt trapped and had no idea how to get out of the mess I’d created for myself.  If only I’d listened to all of the warnings—both the internal ones and the ones from family and friends.

*Name changed