Desires of the Heart
Have you ever wanted something so bad you could taste it? Then you wonder why you can’t have it? I know I have!
I grew up knowing my parents loved one another. I saw it in the way they interacted. Of course as an adolescent I was embarrassed that my parents still held hands and would kiss one another good bye and hello. Now I find it endearing thinking about it and wish I could have that same type of relationship.
You would think growing up around such positive role models that I would follow in their footsteps. Unfortunately, I didn’t and fell in the trap of not one, but two abusive relationships. These relationships broke me. It has taken me a long time to bounce back not only mentally and emotionally, but also financially.
That still doesn’t stop me from longing for a loving, positive and God centered romantic relationship. When I watch other couples lovingly interact a longing goes up within me. When I see mother’s caring for their children or the blessing of a new addition my heart calls out in longing to God. “Why can’t that be me?”
It’s often hard to smile through the pain, when my heart is breaking in two. Only God knows and sees the longing that is there.
We often think when we are young that there are not consequences for our actions, but there are. Sometimes these consequences are longer lasting then we’d ever expect.
I keep trusting that God knows best and praying that one day I’ll have the family I yearn for so deeply. God promises us in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I believe that God gives us the desires of our hearts, if we’re patient and seek his will.
What is the desire of your heart? What decisions have you made with lasting consequences? Are you leaning on God’s understanding or your own?