Taking Our Need to the Lord

In my abusive situation, I began to see the truth behind his lies and actions. As I turned my situation over to the Lord, I grew strong and began to stand up for myself. I could not condone the lies I’d been fed for so long or the evil in my life. I was tired of living on a roller […]

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Struggling to Let Go

Letting go is not easy. Even after a bad situation, when we want to let go, it is often easy to hold on to the past. After all, this is what is familiar. This is the life we know. This is where we are comfortable. Moving on and moving away can be scary. We are entering the unknown, even if […]

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Does the Past Define You?

Often it is easy to allow our past to define us. Could you easily say, “I was a victim…alcoholic…drug addict…enabler…rebel…” So, often it is easy to define ourselves by what we used to be. However, if you have worked hard and turned your life around, to become a strong woman and mature adult, we cannot allow the past to define […]

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Turning a Negative into a Positive

After years of being degraded and put down, it is difficult to turn turn our thought process around. However, we can change our thought process. We can take a negative and turn it into a positive. This is not easy and takes a lot of intentional work. When I was in my darkest places, I wondered if I would ever […]

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Blinded to the Truth

I recently heard Dr. Charles Stanley say “Satan always blinds you and says you will be fine without showing you the consequences.” I thought about how this related to an abusive relationship. The abuse began so subtly. Oh, there were plenty of red flags but I choose to ignore them, even when the Lord tried to warn me. I refused […]

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We Can Be Too Honest

My ex and his family, constantly harped on being honest and truthful. Yet, no matter how honest and truthful I was at times, it never seemed to be good enough. They still wanted and demanded more. In hindsight, there were times when I was too honest. Are you scratching your head? How can you be too honest? Isn’t honesty the […]

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Step Out in Faith

There was one thing that kept me from leaving an abusive relationship sooner than I did. Finances. I could not afford to leave and my abuser knew that. Actually, my abuser did everything possible to make sure I could not afford to leave. That included tightly controlling how much money I had and what I was allowed to do with […]

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Has God Forgotten me?

I’ve longed to have someone to share my life with and children of my own and it has not happened. Sometimes I want to cry out, God have you forgotten me? Both times I’ve chosen a mate, I have chosen wrong. I know others that would love to be married, but never found anyone. Still others are married, but long […]

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Why Can’t I Forgive Myself

  I’ve discovered that when I look back over my life and the mistakes I’ve made, there are considerable regrets and pains. I’ve hurt myself with my decisions and allowed myself to be hurt by others.   However, the most difficult person to forgive has been myself. Even when I forgive myself and move on there are times when the same […]

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Struggling to Forgive Others

    When we’ve been hurt, it is easy to struggle with forgiving those that hurt us. However, refusing to forgive, can be detrimental to our health. Studies show that not forgiving can lead to: High blood pressure Heart issues Anger Increased depression Chronic stress Mental illness Some ways in which we can work through our emotions towards forgiveness are: […]

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Moving from Victim to Survivor

During the process of healing, I realized that I had to move my thought process from victim to survivor. Dictionary.com describes a victim as “a person harmed, injured or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action…a person who is tricked or duped.” That is definitely true when you have been involved in a variety […]

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Knowing When to Walk Away

Have you ever had to walk away from someone you love? There are times when we have to make tough decisions. When someone we love brings physical harm or tremendous emotional pain into our lives, there are times when we have no choice but to walk away from them. This is never an easy decision to make. Only with the […]

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He Calls the Broken Hearted

Growing up in a Christian home, I knew about the love of God. I knew that he died for my sins and loved me. I had accepted Jesus into my heart when I was only five years old, but that’s not to say I always lived in a pleasing manner to my Lord, especially as an older teenager and young […]

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Abuse Can Make You Crazy

Did you know that abuse can make you crazy? A quick Google search, shows a variety of articles proving that emotional abuse can in fact lead a person to erratic behavior. This was true for me and I felt as if I were going crazy. My abuser made it all out to be my fault and even tried to make […]

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We Often Hurt Ourselves When We Hurt

When we hurt, we take it out on those that we love {and sometimes hate} the most. There are times when we hurt that we often take it out on ourselves. When I was in an abusive relationship, I dealt with the pain by taking it out on myself. While I never tried drugs, I would bite myself, over dosed […]

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Does God See My Needs?

I wondered when I left my abusive relationship if God would provide for my needs. I had no source of income at the moment and left with just the bare minimum in clothes. There are times when our needs outweigh our resources, whether they be finances, connections, education, etc. But, what I discovered is that if I would keep my […]

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Do you enable others?

Time after time I hear stories of how family members and friends have enabled those that are hurting. The person hurting often becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol or is abusive. However, there loved ones have no idea how to stop this destructive path. Our society is full of examples of this and no better example can be found than […]

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Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayers

  When I was in my abusive situation, I called out to God for three years. At times, I wondered where He was and if He even cared about me. I was slowly broken down and stripped of all pride, indignity, and desires. Only when I was completely broken and able to humble myself at the throne of God and […]

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Crawling out of the Black Hole of Despair

There are times when we are hurting when we feel as if we’ve climbed into a black hole of despair we cannot climb out of. Our present circumstances have overtaken us and we feel caught and stuck. No matter where we turn, there seems no way to climb out from this abyss. I have personally been there on more than […]

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A Caring Friend

There are so many times when we are hurting that we want to pour out our heart.  We seem to tell anyone and everyone that will listen about our troubles and woes. I’ve been guilty of that and I’ve seen it happen in others, even when the situation was not appropriate. We all need a caring friend to listen, comfort […]

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