Rebel to Redeemed: Battling with God

Duncan* was slowly wheedling himself into my life.  Several times I tried to pull back, but he and his sister, continued to push and would not leave me alone.  I fell for their act that they genuinely cared for me.

Have you felt the spiritual battle being waged for you?

Have you felt the spiritual battle being waged for you?

However, a few months into our relationship I woke up one day in a panic.  My insides felt like they were being torn apart.  I took a drive through the countryside to have time to think and pray.

Instead of seeking God’s will and asking Him what He wanted, I told Him what I wanted.  The more I prayed, the more my insides did battle with one another.

Finally, I said, “God I love this man and can’t live without him.  I don’t care what it takes, just allow us to be together.”  I had no idea at that time what I was asking, but God knew.

Six months later I found myself moving two states away to live with this man.

What I did not understand until years later was what was happening the day my insides were so tormented.  There was a spiritual battle going on for my soul at that moment.  I chose my selfishness and desires, instead of seeking God.

I was about to head down the broken path.

*Name changed